2025-09-03.2_double down

double down on your fragmentarity and specificities. more of them.

i’ve realized that although i’ve been trying to do and be so much, i’ve actually been operating from a quite narrow definition of myself. i’m more than what i think i am. there are more fragments to m(e) than i’ve been allowing into m(y) headspace. and i haven’t been allowing that since if i did i would lose m(y) seemingly solid (perfect) grasp on what i am already. but that is, of course, bullshit. and since i’ve been operating from this narrow definition of myself, i’ve been approaching others from that position as well. not allowing them to be more. and that is, of course, bullshit.

having certain different desires and fragments to you is not the problem, it rarely ever is. the problem arises when you try to make them the only ones in order to feel a semblance of false control over yourself and your fragmentarity. but existence is a river. and you are a fragmentary body flowing with/in it. you will never actually have the control over where the currents are leading to that reducing yourself to a couple fragments makes you feel to have. so more often than not, try to stop. stop trying to reach the false power and control of reductionism, essentialism and perfectionism.

double down on your fragmentarity and specificities instead. more of them.